Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize