she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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