i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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