She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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