it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize