Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
