wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
