Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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