Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
