11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
