I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
