What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
