yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
my poor anus
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
