Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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