so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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