So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Of course I have a pirate flag
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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