I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was CRYING into my vagina
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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