And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
