She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
