I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
