How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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