Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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