I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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