Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
