u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
