whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
