What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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