True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
