I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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