why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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