So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize