I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
