I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
