Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
