The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
