i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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