im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
