that's an acceptable place to lick
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
