In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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