One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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