hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
