So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
