Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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