life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
