dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
