dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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