I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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