If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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