idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
