BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
