I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
