I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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