I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
