Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
