Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Actions speak louder than pants.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
