Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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