Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to calm my uterus...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
