she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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