Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
