If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
