Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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