Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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