This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
