Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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