finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
