A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
