whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We don't watch enough power rangers
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
