he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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