PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
